Beautiful Dreamer
by Aya Rose
Summary: Not ET. You've been warned. Which is better? A beautiful lie, or the bittersweet truth?
1. Tomoyo's gotta gun!

Don't own CCS. Though with my mental state, it probably would have ended about the same. But still I make no profit from this, opposed to the warm fuzzy feeling I get when expanding your minds. Oh, and definitely not Eriol/Tomoyo. Trust me. I lied about the kitty, not this one. Sooo not Tomoyo/Eriol.  
  
~oOo~  
  
There was so much blood.  
  
The first shot she heard. After that, the rest were all dull thuds. Even the clicking as she pulled the trigger again and again, firing the long empty gun at the place he once stood seconds before.  
  
Why didn't he just get up again? Clow had done it before him, dying but never leaving well enough alone. Always nearby to advise his successor, even when she probably would have figured it out on her own. Always leading her by the hand through the most direct way to power. Missing most of the important lessons along the way, always in favor of the fastest ways to gain dominion over the cards.  
  
~~~  
  
"Congratulations Mrs. Moon, you're pregnant." The doctor smiled as he told her this, but it felt like she had just been punched in the gut. The wall paper in the room seemed to curl as Madison Taylor Moon nodded. Even the drive down the crowed London streets seems tainted and darker then usual. The drizzling skies mimicking her mood that day.  
  
She should have had the perfect life. Marrying her High School Sweetheart. Living in a large mansion in a far away exotic country. And now pregnant with her first child. A part of her mind told her that her school friends would be jealous of her. Rita, Niki, Chelsea, and even Meilin. And Sakura of course...  
  
Sakura... every time she thought of that name she would get the worst migraine headaches. It was a loud buzzing that started back in Readington, when ever she would think of her friend's name. It was like she was under a spell.  
  
Of course that was silly. Her husband was one of the strongest Magicians on the planet. He wouldn't have his wife walking around under a spell.  
  
~~~~  
  
Unless it was his spell.  
  
But no one would ever do anything that desperate. It'd be evil to play with people's emotions.  
  
As evil as trapping a group of sentient beings to a deck of cards.  
  
Clow was never evil. He just didn't understand that other people may not want his view of the world. Eli would sometimes have the same problem.  
  
~~~  
  
"Welcome a new student to class. Eli Moon." That didn't seem right. Mr. Terada didn't speak English much, if at all. Every time Tomoyo closed her eyes, to think of the first time she met her husband, it was slightly different. Like a fog was being lifted from her mind.  
  
"Welcome a new student to Tomoeda, class. Eli Hiiragizawa." Still not quite right. It was Eriol the first time. Eriol Hiiragazawa.  
  
As she dug through a pile of junk mail on the desk in a daze, a part of her noted that all the mail to Madison Taylor was intended for her. But it wasn't 'to' her. Like waking up in a stranger's life. But with a dead body cooling on the floor next to her. Was blood suppose to be that red?  
  
It took a moment for the full effect of what was going on to catch up with her. The fights Eriol had with Ms. MacKenzie had gotten so bad, it was hard to ignore. Then she just vanished suddenly. Without a trace. The police and even the cards could not find her.  
  
Then Eriol began to proposition her. She turned her down repeatedly because of... some one. She was already in love, but with who? Her brow furrowed. Because the caster had died, most of the spell was falling away, but this one strand of it would not leave her...  
  
"Sakura." She looked up, to see both Spinni and Ruby at the door, in their true forms. Their heads are respectfully bowed, perhaps looking at their dead master. "It was Sakura." Ruby repeats for me, before the memories rush back to me. The numbing headache finally gone for now.  
  
They aren't the happiest of memories, bittersweet at the best of times, but they're real. And I understand. Finally, and truly I understand.  
  
Eriol wasn't doing anything evil. He wanted to make everyone happy. He accidently lashed out at Kaho, and in penance, he wanted to make me happy, at any cost. It almost brings a smile to my face as I look up, "You put the diary on my bed, didn't you?" Ruby and Spinel just nod. I would never had known if I never read that.  
  
How upset he had been after erasing Kaho. His great plan to bring her back and needing someone to give birth to her. His wonderful idea to replace Sakura in my mind, and give me a wonderful dream life.  
  
But he couldn't. He couldn't replace Sakura to me. He couldn't hide what she intended to me. He couldn't even erase her from me. The best he could do was change my memories to hide any mention of her. Change my memories, memories of my friends, change the world, so I was for all I knew always a valley girl. Born and raised in America. Far away from Sakura festivals, The Japanese language, cherry blossoms, and all.  
  
I don't know if it really changed, or if it's all just in my head. But now I have to find out. "Ruby? Spinner? Where's Sakura now?"  
  
~~~  
  
All reviews stating "You mixed the Japanese names with the English" Will be responded to with a big fat 'Duh'  
  
Continue: Y/N? 


	2. The short plane one

Do not own CCS either. Also this is short, because of the writer's block and all. ^.^  
  
~oOo~  
  
The plane ride is interesting.  
Nakruru had begged and pleaded until she got the window seat, and now had her face plastered against the window, watching as the lights of Hong Kong drew nearer. Funny how much she reminds me of Sakura on her first trip here. Simply overwhelmed by everything she sees.  
  
Spinel is still hiding in my bag. Funny how he takes to it with more ease then Kero ever did. In some ways it's convenient, in others it's just a little depressing.  
  
I tried sleeping on the plane at first, but that wasn't even an option. Every time I close my eyes I see Eriol's piercing blue eyes. Telling me to just forget everything. To come back to him. That he's fine, and we can be happy forever.  
  
The house is in the control of a realtor. No, I didn't sell it. He'll handle the renting of it to people that can use it more at this time. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm never going back there. Ever. And selling it would be just stupid. From a profit point of view.  
  
I'm on my 6th cup of coffee though, all the caffeine is going to get to me eventually, but I have to find her. The last thing I remember is being at her wedding.  
  
Watching her dance up the isle in the wonderful white dress. I've never watched that tape since. Any tape. It'd be a crime to my memory. There's no way that a simple camera could have captured that much beauty. For all the time I spent, taping and reliving Sakura's life through film, and her wedding was the one thing that could stop it.  
  
Just by closing my eyes, I can remember that day, and how happy she was to be married. It is a little painful to think of what could have been, but I'm sure she's happy...  
  
And for the first time, I question what I'm doing. Perhaps forgetting it all was better.  
  
I'd have a family. I'd have some one who I thought loved me. And at the very least I wouldn't be constantly dreaming of someone who would never...  
  
Why would I want to pollute Sakura's happy life with mine...  
  
The plane will be landing soon. I really don't know what will happen. I don't even know what I hope will happen. Time will simply tell. 


	3. Intermission

Ownership of CCS = 0 But I wouldn't let that stop me. ^.^  
  
~oOo~  
  
"Tomoyo stop being so depressed!" It's been about a month now.  
Yelan was very happy to see me. To the point that she and her entourage met me at the airport. Having the entire Li clan greet you is an interesting thing. They really don't do anything in halves.  
  
What I find weird, is they knew exactly what I had done. They weren't too worried.  
  
What I should find strange is how quickly they pulled Ruby Moon, Spinel, and myself into their family. Yelan doesn't like to yell at me, but the first thing she had me doing upon entering the house was trying to improve my personal 'magic' as she calls it. That's Fanran's job.  
Fanran has no problems with yelling at me.  
She's Sayoran's oldest sister, and while not the most magical of the family, she knows the basics of everything. Even things no one in the entire house can get right. And even when she's gushing and calling me cute, there's nothing stopping her from being a bit rough when I can't get her exercises to work correctly. Which is why she should probably work on her inspirational speeches.  
  
Feimei I don't see alot. Being the second oldest, she's running around town most of the day. I'm pretty sure she's running the financial matters for the family. She and I have practiced some magic on the occasional weekend, but she mostly specializes in predicting what the stock markets are going to act like.  
  
Shiefa I find really cute. She's energetic like Sakura, but I'm not sure if Nakruru realizes how much time she's spending with her. I think they might like each other, but I'm going to wait a little more before I start encouraging anything between them... Just to be sure. They tend to spend a lot of their time bouncing between the local colleges together though.  
  
Fuutie is the youngest, but she's... strange. She's quite possibly the most magical person I've ever seen. Sakura is more powerful and has a more magical personality, but Fuutie never stops being magical.  
The entire time I've been here, I keep getting cold chills when she bursts into the room. She never reaches for items, they always float to her. She's constantly talking to everything; tables, doors, thin air. And she acts like it answers her. It's like her magic never stops long enough for her to see anything going on in the real world.  
I wonder if all mages get like that eventually, or if it's just her. It's almost disturbing, but it's very... intriguing to me. But if she walked in with a dragon on one arm, while riding a unicorn, I really couldn't say I'd be that surprised.  
  
I don't see Yelan a lot, but when I do she's usually with at least one of her daughters. She seems to be preoccupied with finding Sayoran.  
  
Oh, did I mention they don't know where they are either?  
Sakura and Sayoran have seemingly dropped of the face of the planet. I called Yuki, and he can't tell me what's going on, and Touya won't tell me over the phone. Truthfully it worries me. I'd go visit Tokyo, just to find out what's going on, but I promised that I wouldn't leave the Li Compound until I've learned how to do this specific exercise.  
  
I don't know why Yelan is so dead set on me learning it, but she says it's vital that I learn it. So I'll keep trying.  
  
Then I supose I'll keep looking for Sakura. After that, who knows what I'll do. 


	4. Magic is in the mind, not in the toys

More fun from my little brain box. ^.^  
  
+++  
  
This one was going to work. She could practically taste it. This time practically smelled of success.  
  
The last week had been full of all sorts of items designed for scrying. Some like the crystal ball were a little... corny for her. The Lazen Board almost worked, but she couldn't read it fast enough yet. The Ouija Board... well... they didn't want to talk about what that attracted to the house.  
  
She didn't have the heart for intestine reading. The bird was just so cute, and the knife was just so big and sharp. Reading the movements of flocks of birds didn't help either, they all went in every which way. She completely misread the tea leaves, they all kept saying was: 'Need Refill'.  
  
Fanran had gotten her a beautiful gold lined tarot set, practically glowing with power. That's why Fuutie was so much better with them then she was. Even three rooms away. Reading the water's surface in a bowl was calming, but didn't do much more then remind her how thirsty she was.  
  
All day Thursday was spent meditating and observing the movement of the sun, still to no avail though.  
  
But today would be different. She had gone out shopping, and while wandering by the magazine rack, she saw the perfect thing. It was the cutest thing she'd ever seen, and just had to get it. It just reminded her about everything she thought about Sakura, and the one next to it just screamed Sayoran, and the one next to it...  
  
So now she sat in the study, shuffling the stack of her brand new tarot cards. Laying eight cards in a semi circle around her, she reached for the first of the elements. She squealed happily at her first success all week as she revealed the first correct card of her magical career.  
  
Revealing the deck's prime lightning element, she looked back on the smiling yellow face of Pikachu.  
  
+++  
  
Author's note : A good tarot deck is made of what ever you think will fit in it. Tomoyo just picked pokemon cards. I felt like making a joke today. ^.^ 


End file.
